Catching Up With the Sleep-Talking Man =]

Here are some my recent♥favorites from Adam and Karen's archive:

"Yeah I'm good. No shit, Sherlock. I'm the reason why there's so many adjectives for awesome."

"The cake! It must be psychic. It's using Jedi mind tricks to make itself irresistible to me. This is the cake I want. I must have the soft icing."

"I feel a cold spot. Fuck off. You're a fucking cold spot."

"You've got a nice face. But your personality is one huge cock block."

"Shhhh. Don't make noises in the kitchen like a tortoise. It attracts all sorts."

"Welcome to your first day at duck school. I'll make the lesson simple. Okay: Quack. Quack quack. Very good class. Now go swimming."

"How much do I love you? As much as I love myself, toned down a little bit."

"Elvis is dead. He is dead, I tell you! Buried and oh just a little bit smelly. Bad burger muncher."

"I'm giving out tickets. Five minute slots to stand next to me. One at a time. Enjoy yourself."





On that note:  This is the blog of a guy who claims to be a sleep-sexer...( I know, right?)

The Sleep~Talkin' Sensation!

     In October 2009, when Karen Slavick, wife of the Sleep-Talkin' Man, began blogging about her new husband's second, nocturnal personality, she had no idea that she was laying the bricks of the road to international fame. Since then, however, the STM has become a globe-stretching phenom.

     Adam, Karen and their blog have been picked up by news and entertanment shows in multiple countries, including Peru, Australia, Cost Rica, and the U.S..

     The Sleep-Talkin' Man also now has his own line of t-shirts, aprons, mugs, mousepads, greeting cards, and even ring tones (available here, here and here).

     With all of that on top of the million-plus hits to their bog, it is definitely safe to say the STM is blowing way up.

     "It was actually just something I was putting up for myself and my friends. It didn't occur to us that any of this would happen," Karen told ABC News. The duo apeared on ABC's World News Tonight to speak about their online treasure:



  

     Well, horray for the Sleep-Talkin' Man!

     When I first blogged about Karen and Adam (read the entry here), I didn't know either that the site would become such a hit, but I am certainly glad it has! Every time I click onto the STM blog, I am gifted with a smile - sometimes even a burst of chuckle.

     Other people are obviously affected the same way.

     When Adam said this, this morning:

"Yeah, you can find it on www.uselessfuckingpieceofcockshitesuckingtitfuck.com,"

     Someone actually bought that domain name, and now, http://www.uselessfuckingpieceofcockshitesuckingtitfuck.com/ is an actual website - go ahead and click it.

     The STM's fame has not stopped growing...and it doesn't look like it is going to any time soon either.

     Keep your eyes peeled. Who knows where he will turn up next!

(Sleep Talkin' Man Trademark and © copyright Karen Slavick All Rights Reserved 2010 )

Catching Up With the Sleep~Talkin' Man

Here's (what I think is) the best stuff to come out of the STM as of late...(you're welcome =] ):






[If you missed my original blog on the STM,  h e r e  i t  i s  ]






Feb 21, 2010




"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clock."




Feb 19, 2010




"Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself."






"Really? If you can pee that high, DEFINITELY join the fire brigade. Yah."




Feb 15, 2010


"Don't move a muscle. Bushbabies are everywhere... everywhere... Shoot the fucking big-eyed wanky shite fucks! Kick 'em. Stamp them. Poke 'em in their big eyes! Take that for scaring the crap out of me."




Karen adds:


And for those of you who have never seen one, this is a ferocious, terrifying bushbaby:

Feb 14 2010
"I know it's a shame that when I walk out of a room it gets just a little bit darker and gray. It's a burden I carry."


(^This is one of my favorites now. Remember: this is, as his wife describes him, a mild-mannered English man talking here...haha.)






Feb 13 2010


"Oh, don't worry, dear. The spot doesn't make you ugly. No no no. The rest of your face, now THAT makes you ugly. The spot's just a highlight."






Karen's note: Here in the UK, spot = zit.






Feb 12 2010




"She's knitting me a jumper. Fuck! I don't want to be a social outcast. Oh, not good."






"It's a good thing your breath smells of shit. It colors your words beautifully. Gives it an edge."






"I can't get it to work. Nope, it must be broken. There's no point you trying. Don't try. Stop trying… How did you get it to work? Bollocks!"




 
Feb 9 2010


"My pony's for sale. Yes, it fucking works! I wanna get a stripey zebra instead."

I heart the Sleep~Talkin Man

(and his wife ; ).)

The Sleep-Talkin' Man had an especially hilarious night this past Friday - thought I'd share it with you:



[If you missed my original blog about the STM,  h e r e  i t  i s  ]

Jan 29, 2010


"No puppy! Bad puppy! Make you into puppy slippers."



"You know, its a human race. And you lost."




"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."



=] (!)

The Sleep~Talkin' Man

Somniloquists are people who talk in their sleep. According to sleepdisorderhelp.com, they make up only 5 percent of men and women.

The Sleep-Talking Man, Adam, is one very special somniloquist.

It seems that while Adam slumbers - almost every night - the Adam that he is to the waking world sleeps, while a vulgar, vegetable-loathing Adam rises to galavant through his dreams.

Karen, Adam's wife, records their sleep throughout the night, and in the morning she blogs whatever the tapes show him saying.

Here is a list of some of the things she has blogged:

(Imagine Adam as Karen describes him: mild-mannered and English.)

"Don't eat the jelly! Don't eat the jelly! I made it with frog wee. It'll turn your teeth green... Like mini apples."

"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."

"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."

"Don't... Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings."

"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun."

"It's CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-shitting wanker."

"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"

"Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!"

"Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."

(^All from one night.)

"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for."

"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."

"Now fuck off and let me bask in the glory of being me."

"Flap's on fire. Your flap's on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I'm a bad bad boy."

(Karen includes, "note: you guys have to imagine 'chili in the vagina' in a child's sing-song cadence. Creeeeepy.")



And, of course, two of my favorites:



"Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."

and

"Yes I'm sad, but if you stood further away, I'd be happier. No, further away. Well, let's face it, just fucking CUNT OFF! Thank you, I appreciate it."


I discovered the STM and Karen just this morning on...GMA? (Don't quote me on that...) But already their blog has given more laughs than every other blog I normally read put together.

It makes me happy to know I have something so...unique to look forward to every day =] .