Jerseylicious is Coming to E!!

     Those of us who can't get enough of this big-haired guilty pleasure have cause to rejoice, because, while we are still waiting for new episodes to arrive (coming September 5!), we can now start catching up with the first season of  "Jerseylicious" on the Style Network's sister channel, E!!

     Now, as a huge fan of entertainment, I have always been a very loyal E!-watcher. As a matter of fact, since the births of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" and "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami" (for me, the ultimate guilty pleasures), I would even call it my favorite channel...

but I have to say that, today, I no longer have a name for my feelings about E!.

     I, Jessica Meneghin, lover of both words and self-expression, cannot put into a single phrase exactly how I feel for the entertainment Mecca which that channel has now become...

     On a semi-related note: the E! Online staff writer who made these comments about the accompanying photo of Katherine Heigl can kiss my butt. I think she looks great.

Do you think this is Photoshopped??

I do.


Not only that, but the idea that anyone expects anyone to think that this...rock...castle actually exists makes me think, "Who's kidding?"

Granted, I got this photo from Planet.com, where no one is claiming that this is any place to be hailed in real, live life. I am just wondering if I'm the only person who looks at this picture with absolutely no seriousness at all...


On a related note: here are some pictures that are definitely Photoshopped, and - I think - are better for it:

                                         

     Neat, huh?

Let's Hear It For The Boys!

     And let's hear it for T h e  V i e w (!), for what was hands-down the most entertaining episode of live tv I have ever seen!


     While Whoopi is off filming Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf in Atlanta, The View has - for the first time ever - invited a few people of the male persuasion to take her position in the Moderator's seat.

     Today was Joe Scarborough(, tv host/ex-Congressman,)'s turn, and I'm telling you, this episode is definitely going down in television history.

     First of all, sitting in as guest co-host was sports guy Stephen A. Smith, so there was a 2:3 male-to-female ratio making things very interesting (especially because the never-been-married Smith was seated next to the very single Sherri...).

     Secondly, today's list of Hot Topics was truly as hot as I've ever known it to be. They covered everything from the hosts' picks for tonight's NBA Finals, toooo BP's Swedish chairman referring to Gulf residents as "small people" and how well President Obama is handling the oil spill, and even all the way to lady-Viagra and whether or not girl-on-girl sex makes you a lesbian.

     Like I said: the single greatest episode of live tv - maybe of any tv - I. Have. Ever. Seen.

     I was at the edge of my seat the entire time; either nodding, laughing, tearing-up, talking to the tv, or just sitting there, slack-jawed and silent.

     Malheureusement, since the episode only filmed and aired today, there aren't any photos or video clips I can share with you yet, but I do promise to keep my eyes peeled.

I Am Embarrassed to Admit This...

     ..but...

     IaminlovewiththeshowJerseylicious.

     There. I said it.

     I never expected this to happen - besides "The Sopranos", I have hated every show I've ever seen about New Jersey - but it has, and I do.

     If you've haven't seen "Jerseylicious" yet, it's a new (newish; it premiered March 21, 2010) show on the Style channel the centers around the events and employees of a recently re-opened salon in central New Jersey called the Gatsby ("A Unique Beauty Boutique") .

     There are Gail and Christy, the owner and her daughter.

They just took out a two-million-dollar loan to renovate the Gatsby.

When the salon was ready to open, they had to fill it with a brand-new staff:

Alexa 

a "Glam Fairy" (a name which, according to her website's definition, means "one whom has the capacity to transform a person(s) by waving metaphorical wands hereby releasing a Glamazon." ...I know...lol.) who owns her own on-location bridal hair and makeup company, on top of her new job as the Gatsby's head makeup artist;

Anthony

a hairstylist who is working at the Gatsby while his own salon undergoes a renovation. According to MyStyle.com, Anthony first got into cutting hair to meet girls =] ;

Olivia

an up-and-coming makeup artist/tanning addict, who dreams of someday owning her own junglefied salon/full-service bar;

Gigi

 a hairstylist who's Jersey accent is actually adorable, and not obnoxious;

aaand Tracy...

who - I almost feel guilty saying - I think is as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside. From what I've seen, she is a nasty, manly, ugly-haired hairstylist who seems to love nothing more than spreading misery...and teasing hair - a total biotch.

    

     I cannot stop watching this show. I just can't. It comes on Sunday nights at ten. You should set the DVR - and stay tuned! There will be an "IloveJerseylicious Pt. Deux" coming your way soon (painting a Jerseylicious picture of all the dramatic dynamics for you =] )!

Is it just me...

or are bikini bottoms tinier than ever?

My Say-So on Bikini Bottoms

     I stay in shape, and I certainly don't feel like I have anything to hide, but the current shrinking of bikini bottoms is starting to make me nervous...

     These are the kinds of bathing suits I have been seeing around (I have chosen celebrity photos to make them interesting as well as relevant =] ):

(Jessica Biel)

(Gemma Arterton - the newest Bond girl)

(Jessica Alba)

(Kim Kardashian -- Yes, I know most bottoms probably look small on this particular ass (No offense, Kim, your butt always looks great.), but these are especially teensy-weensy, no?)

     What I'm thinking is: do we all have to wear bottoms this small??

     After checking around the local clothing stores that usually have the best bathing suits, I regret to tell you yes, if you want a higher-end bikini, be ready to bare (Haha) those cheeks. 

     Every cute suit I saw has itty-bitty bottoms - not thongs, but not your mother's bikini either.

    

     My only problem with this is the way I imagine you must feel while wearing something like these at the beach - like a piece of meat, getting eye-f*cked by every guy you pass.

     I don't know how this will sound to anyone but me, but...I hate having strangers stare at my ass. Call me crazy. My boyfriend, yes; he can stare, grab, pinch - whatever. And I can understand a stranger stealing a glance. But when you're wearing something like this:

people are going to look; males, females, everybody. People are going to be gawking as you walk by, then when you're gone they will start chirping things like, "Did you see that girl's butt? It looks like she's wearing underwear!"


     That kind of thing.


     I am comfortable in my skin, but these are things I do not want people doing to, or saying about me.

     I am, therefore, very worried about finding a swimsuit this year =\ .

Watch your backs, Matt and Trey - Seriously!

     It appears that Matt Stone and Trey Parker have made a lot of Muslim people very, very angry.

     In celebration of the 200th episode of "South Park," creators Matt and Trey released a special two-parter that involves a Tom Cruise-led, class-action law suit by celebrities who's characters have been defamed by(the town of...)South Park. In part one, Tom Cruise and 200 other celebrities are seeking the prophet Muhammad, in order to take from him his "power to not be ridiculed."

     When they find Muhammad, he is in a mascot-style bear suit.

     It may not be surprising to anyone that Matt and Trey would offend the faith of the billions of people who follow the world's second-largest religion - they have, after all, aired plenty of episodes that are thoroughly offensive to every other religion, belief, sexual preference, and form of disability -

but this time is different.

     On the revolutionary Islamic website, RevolutionMuslim.com, writer Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee posted about the episode:

     "We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them."

     These words are beneath a grisly photo of a Theo Van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered in the street in 2004 for making a documentary about violence against Muslim women.

     Under a headline reading "Where do they live?" there is a link to an article in the Huffington Post that provides details about Matt and Trey's home in Steamboat Springs, CO.
     Beneath that is a clip of a Muslim preacher talking about assassinating people who defame the prophet Muhammad.

     In a follow-up post, the author wrote that he didn't know if Matt and Trey were afraid of being bombed, but they should be.

     I completely agree.

     Matt and Trey, I love you - I have been a South Park fan since the beginning of time - but joking about Muhammad is obviously not funny, and I don't think these people are kidding.

     Also, I don't think placing Muhammad inside of a bear suit, within a U-Haul, and bleeping every mention of his name for the second episode equals an apology to Muslim people, or anyone else.
     If I were you guys, I would seriously start thinking about a real apology; thinking about it and then offering it.
    
     I love my first amendment rights, but I love being alive and whole-bodied a lot more.

"Bad Romance" Becomes YouTube's Most-Viewed of All Time

     As of Wednesdy, pop-singing fashionista and music video phenom Lady Gaga has YouTube's most-watched video of all time with the visual version of her 2009 chart-topper, "Bad Romance."
     With over 180 million views, it's officially safe to say the world has gone gaga for Gaga.
     "Bad Romance" now has over a million views more than the previous king-of-the-viewing-hill, "Charlie Bit My Finger,"
     If you haven't seen it, take a look:




     While I do appreciate many things about the Gaganator, I cannot say that I'm overimpressed by this news, and here's why:



     It's one of five Miley Cyrus videos on the list.
     Also on there are the intro to Disney's "House of Mouse" en espanol and an entire video devoted to some guy's biceps...
     I don't mean to sound like a Debbie Downer - hooray for Lady Gaga, and all that noise - I'm just saying I'm not exactly blown away.

Adopt. Never buy.

Over four million unadopted shelter animals are euthenized every year.

If ever you're considering adding a new pet to the family, please, don't buy one from a breeder or store.

Even if you'll never consider owning a pet - tell your friends! Tell the people at work, your family - anybody! Get the message out: "Never buy a bred dog or cat."

Do what you can to stop this, to help. Please...

Where did the dollars for your dog go?

I hope the following video affects you the way it did me, and you cook up a passion for the issue. If it does, and you do, pour it into every ear you can hold. Light the fire in someone else. Pass it along.

Sick.

Many guilty criminals continue to profess their innocence even when no one believes them, and often even once they're behind bars.

In the case of Koua Fong Lee, a Laotian immigrant serving eight years in a Minnesota prison for vehicular manslaughter, his unending pleas of innocence might acutally be true.

In June 2006, Lee, 32, was driving a 1996 Toyota Camry home from church - his father, brother, pregnant wife and four-year-old child in the car with him - when, he claims, the accelerator stuck, pushing his speed to 70-90 mph. He blasted through two stop signs before crashing into another car, killing three of its occupants - all members of the same family.

In court, Lee testified that, in addition to the car accelerating on its own, the brakes weren't working.

According to a report in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, in a follow-up inspection of Lee's car, mechanics found the brakes to be in working order.

The jury did not believe Lee's story, and from 2006 until now he has been locked in a Minnesota prison.




The '96 Toyota Camry was recalled in the 1990's due to a sudden acceleration problem related to the cruise control feature, but this fact was not mentioned at the trial.

Actually, according to Google News, both Toyota and U.S. Transportation officials had known about "unintended acceleration" issues since late 2003.

"There is a terrible wrong here, and there is an innocent man in prison," said Brent Schafer, Lee's lawyer, to ABC News.


I, personally, could not agree more, and although I don't know very much about the laws involved here, common sense is telling me that Toyota owes this guy...something - money, at the very least...a whole lot of money.

How absolutely outrageous for an innocent man with no obvious criminal motives whatsoever to rot in prison for the better part of a decade! I think it's a disgusting abuse and failure of our judicial system.

I very much hope the media blows this up so enormously that Toyota can't hide from it.

I'm doing my part right now, and I hope that, if you have a blog or a Twitter account, you'll go there now and do yours.

Could soda really change the world?

     That's what the people at Pepsi want to know, and they've created the Pepsi Refresh Project to find out.



     I don't have a head full of ideas with which to save the world. I'm not that girl. I do know with my whole heart, though, that that girl is out there - ten thousand times over, I'm sure!

     It makes me happier than I can explain seeing Pepsi collect (not to mention put forward) this kind of money to help others help the world.

     Way to freakin' go, Pepsi. And big, fat good luck to you too. I will definitely be using every one of my gifts for language to spread the news of this contest (I suppose you could call it?) far and wide.

I'm pulling out my hair!

Over the new season of "Bridezillaz" on WE tv!

When will it be here????


I am a huge, huge Bridezillas fan, and since the last season ended in the fall, I have been starved for b*tch-bride-freakouts!

BUT, I can't, absolutely can't find any information on when to expect new episodes!

The best I have to go off of is when the last season started: June 9th. But that hardly helps me feel better, because if I really have to wait until summer to meet new Bridezillas, I...I just don't know how I will make it...

If anyone knows anything, please fill me in!





If you've never been treated to the show (and even if you have), here are a couple of clips from the most recent season finale:







That's Karen.


Karen, as you can see, is a beautiful, well-educated bride-to-be...

Hers is such an...affecting story, that it takes up two whole episodes all by itself.



For me, this is entertainment. You can't fake this. Karen is a living, breathing person - and a real b*tch. Seeing her, and hearing her story not only entertains me, but it also comforts me somehow.

I honestly think it's the most hilarious show on TV...and I miss the heck out of it!

Come back, Bridezillas!

My say-so on making Daylight Savings Time, all the time!

     This morning was one of the lucky mornings I have to sit at home and watch my two favorite shows: The View and The Dr.'s .

     On the Dr.'s today, they talked about the hazards of something which, a.) I was surprised to hear brought up in the middle of January, just after we here in Michigan just got our first real dose of winter, and which b.) I had never before considered to be "hazardous".

     Daylight Savings Time.

     My Dr.'s, though...I consider them to be unfailing, and although I was reluctant at first, they - true to character - quickly converted me.

     I see now that we, as people in general, definitely experience more harm than good from the time shifts the occur with Daylight Savings.

     On the morning we lose an hour to Daylight Savings Time, the average person's sleep ends 40 minutes too soon. Dr. Jim Sears added on today's show that the average person is already sleeping an hour less than they should every night. He said it's all about REM sleep, which comes mostly at the end of the night, and all those people missing out on all that important sleep time causes a whole mess of problems every year.

     For one, Dr. Sears, who is a physician, pointed out, there are more heart attacks during the first week of Daylight Savings Time, than any other time of the year.

     Secondly, as the cartoon at the top mirthfully illustrates, the (often extra) loss of sleep can, to be blunt, f*ck with people. Especially, Dr. Sears said, the so-called night owls, who are used to staying up much later than the oversoon morning of DST allows.
     It's not an all-adult problem by any means either.
     Poor babies...how do you think they feel?? All of a sudden everything they know is questionable! Imagine waking up like, "Wasn't it nighttime still this time yesterday...?" How cruel....
                                              

 

     Dr. Sears said he gets more calls that first week from parents with babies who's sleep cycles can't seem to switch gears, than during any other time.

     So, I'm wondering, where are the benefits?

     I know the old bore about saving energy and all of that noise, but - and maybe this is just true where I live - the way I see it, energy is being used constantly, regardless of the hour...and I feel like it has been this way for some time now.
     Should we really still be operating around system first thought up in the time of, and by Benjamin Franklin? (No offense, Ben, you know my love for you runs deep.)




     Obviously, the Dr.'s and I are not the first people to question the need for a bi-annual time shift. In fact, many people have proposed doing away with Daylight Savings Time altogether many times already. Arizona and Hawaii have already completely forgotten the dusty tradition.

     My thinking follows a different avenue, though. I love Daylight Savings Time.

     It's beginning, and acclimating into Daylight Savings Time that I, along with everyone else, have had enough of.

     DST allows us, in the summer months, to make the most of the precious golden hours most of us are able to enjoy after the long work day. But who says we wouldn't enjoy those same hours all year long?

     And if we can get used to getting up early in the summertime feeling like getting up earrrrly...then who says we can't deal with mornings feelings like m*o*r*n*i*n*g*s! in the fall and winter and spring too?

     I say we invite Daylight Savings Time to stay with us all year long!

     I wonder who I could talk to about that...

     Maybe I could re-work this piece I'm writing now - take out my voice almost totally - into a feature story...and if I could get it to a point where it's worthy to print in the ESG, people might read it...and agree completely(!)...and we could spark a "Make Daylight Savings Time the Standard Time" brouhaha(!) that will make enough noise to steal the notice of our state legislators(!), and get them thinking, "...What the Hell is the good of this constant switching back and forth?"(!!!!)

     I have a good feeling about this. And we shall see, when I re-write what I'm ending...now.